Dating an Alien vs. Loving a Human

alienI have decided to try something from left field. Something that is extremely and ridiculously hard for me…

Forgiveness.

I have always seen forgiveness as a sign of vulnerability; a sign that anything done to you has been deemed “okay”. However, I may be sabotaging my relations with others by NOT forgiving them due to high expectations. Someone very wise once told me, “You must let go of what you expect from people because they’re never going to give you what you want if that’s not who they are. Not everyone is going to be at an “A”. They may think like a “B” or perform like a “C”.  I’m paraphrasing, but her point is clear. No matter what, I would always put people in the “A” category — going above and beyond while being 100% considerate as a friend, lover, boss or whoever.

BUT (and it’s a big, fat one) people are going to disappoint from time-to-time. They’re going to forget to call you, or cancel plans for a selfish reason, or disregard something great you did for them. Why? Because they are human. Especially with love, you don’t realize the guy you’re dating IS a human being from planet earth until he does something shitty. Then you take a step back and think: Whoa, where did that come from? If aliens are perfect, there’s a reason why humans are not and never will be. I absolutely have flaws! Sometimes I double-book on purpose. Sometimes I just don’t feel like it. Now practicing these flaws often is never good, but if the communication gates are open, these human flubs will be few and far between (and maybe even disappear!).

Bottom line, how YOU decide to forgive people is up to you. Don’t punish someone for a past individual’s mistake, but assume life with them is going to be bumpy sometimes. Relationships are complicated. There is work involved, yet we tend to forget that. Notice the next time you’re frustrated with someone and figure out a way to FORGIVE sooner than you usually would (if you even do). As of now, there is no proof aliens exist, so accept the humans you have in your life. If you can work on the flaws, then love the shit out of them. If not, move on in your little pink spaceship and learn to forgive.

(EDIT: I think I should also add, YOU’RE NOT AN ALIEN, EITHER, so don’t treat yourself like one. Forgive your own human flaws and you’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.)

1 Comment
  • Fay Kesby
    December 2, 2012

    Very true! I realised this recently as well when a friend upset me and normally I would have sulked for a few days but I was due to have major surgery the next day (in the end it was postponed, grr) but that made me think no because if something happens I don’t want him to remember that I was cross with him, I want him to remember all the fun we have together. And sometimes, the best thing to do is just to say ‘yeah you upset me but lets move on’. The question you have to ask is – are you prepared to loose someone over this? Most the time they’ll already know they’ve done wrong and want to make up for it anyway.

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