Ta-ta, twenty-three. It was fun for a little while, but now it’s confirmed: Twenty-four has more embarrassing tidbits to share with the public, and my five followers. Here’s a few of them.
-My dreams have stopped including sexy fights between Chris and Liam Hemsworth and now star my friends having better jobs than me. (Actually, that sounds like reality.)
-Lets face it, I really sleep in a queen-size bed so my clean clothes can sit as a comfy throne for my stuffed animals. YOU show me someone who wants to fold warm laundry in 90-degree weather! (If Teddy gets lost during the night, it’s not my fault.)
-My knees, ankles, eyebrows, fingernail, kidney…they all still crack when I get out of bed. My stomach sometimes likes to join the party and make weird noises even when I’ve only had a salad.
-Also, you can’t exactly tell people your stomach noise isn’t what it sounds like. No, really, I don’t need to use the bathroom. I’d obviously rather sit here and feel uncomfortable knowing you think I’m too polite to get up and go.
-I have just spent the night before my ONLY day off taking a nap [until 9pm] and I don’t feel ashamed, whatsoever.
-As soon as I got rid of the pimples on my face, they decide to renew for another season and show up on conventional places such as elbows, ears, and the occasional toe. (Seriously, being twenty-four is a lot sexier.)
-This was a while back, but deserves mentioning. I [proudly] showed my ten year-old cousin a few Britney Spears videos and she
politely bluntly asked if this was made in the eighties. You’d think with all the cops in my family I could have found a gun to quickly end my sorrow. My mother found the whole thing hilarious.
-There have been moments this week where I think about buying my pug, moving to New Zealand, and calling it a lifetime. Giving up at twenty-four? Nah, just getting ready for the end of the world…and apparently, my youth.