Things Girls Say When They’re Not Interested

phoneFor too long I have given advice to my male friends consisting of “she’s not interested”, only to see them continually chase said estrogen. Turns out, she wasn’t interested. I have decided to expose these “outs” girls use as a way to minimize hurt feelings (no, we don’t want to be honest with you, it’s too awkward). So do both genders a favor, guys, and instead: TAKE THE HINT.

“Sorry, I’ve been busy!”

It’s an excuse. Women are busy, don’t get me wrong, but the secret is we are awesome at time management. If we want to see a guy, we will expand the particles of time and fit him into our day (we have that superpower). Unless the woman you’ve met is Olivia Pope, she has time…and will usually ditch her friends to make it so.

“I’ll have more time to hang out in a few weeks!”

No she won’t. You just aren’t priority enough for her to rearrange her schedule and make room. Another secret? Girls plan ahead. So unless she tells you a specific day and time, you ain’t seeing her. I can guarantee most women know what they’re doing for Christmas by July, so the fact she can’t commit to a day in the same month should be an indicator to move along.

“I’m not looking to date right now!”

She means, “I’m not looking to date YOU, at all”. Trust me, a girl will make it known she’s yours. Doesn’t matter if you’re moving to Tahiti for six months, this love-stoned girl is going to try to make it work. We love to try, because females have an insane amount of hope in our veins (despite getting stomped on by losers). If she thinks you’re worth it, she will date you, and date you hard.

“You’re such a good friend!”

This would appear to be the most obvious, but you men still push it, don’t you? Just because a girl thinks you’re a “good friend” does NOT mean she wants to date you, sleep with you, or really, do anything borderline “couple-y”. Guys need to realize their female friends have boundaries, too, regardless of the length they’ve known each other. So stop being touchy-feely in public to make people think you’re dating, give your female friends some SPACE! We’d appreciate it…and our boyfriends would, too.

“Hahaha! LOL! LMAO!”

Okay, so you have good comedic timing, but you’re not Vince Vaughn. Just because a girl laughs at your jokes doesn’t mean she’s interested in more. It means…wait for it…she thinks you’re funny! Girls want someone to make them laugh, but they also want to connect and be attracted to the guy. If she laughs at your jokes while you both are laying in bed, then you should already have your answer (and be pretty damn happy).

Guys, we commend you for wanting a relationship, but you must read the signs. Don’t waste more than a week on someone who spouts these lines and doesn’t follow through. If a girl likes you, she’s going to bug the shit out of you. Keep truckin’ along until you find someone who makes herself available, enjoys your company, and laughs at your jokes (naked AND clothed). It doesn’t get much simpler than that.

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